boundaries

Our Children Crave Boundaries – Permissiveness is Unkind – Parents Article

There are parents like me who would rather avoid setting boundaries. We fear that conflict or disagreements with our kids will amount to a net loss for us. You’ll stop liking me. You’ll leave. You’ll be too sad, angry, broken spirited. We’ll feel ashamed, doubtful, blame ourselves. It can feel safer to swallow up our own needs and wants to avoid making waves, even though this invariably means we’re the ones left drowning in a sea of resentment, anger, self-pity.…

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Drowning in Chaos (4 Parenting Lifelines) – Parents Article

In this episode: A parent writes that she’s overwhelmed since the arrival of her third child. While she used to manage a reasonable schedule that allowed for chores, self-care, and one-on-one time with her kids, now the older ones whine and scream and demand her attention. Any semblance of order in her day “has completely gone out the window.” She says her household is in chaos, her kids are miserable, and that she’s simply burnt out. “I don’t enjoy being…

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Dear Parent: You Are Not Failing – Parents Article

In this episode: A mom is at her wit’s end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears and then ends up…

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When Your Child Is Unkind (She Needs Your Help) – Parents Article

In this episode: Janet responds to the parent of two kids who overheard her 4.5 year old taunting another child in the park and wasn’t sure how to react to that sort of unkind behavior. On the one hand, she didn’t want to impose judgement on her daughter by scolding and lecturing. On the other, “I want to help coach her on being kind and a good human being.” She’s unsure of what to do to help foster these traits…

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Connecting with Your Kids When They’re Upset (Works with Siblings Too) – Parents Article

In this episode: Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset. Transcript of…

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Stop Being a Captive to Your Children’s Emotions – Parents Article

In this episode: A mother of two (3 and 5 years old) writes that she became a parent “with every intention of validating my children’s emotions and teaching them emotional expression.” Now she feels that perhaps her good intentions have backfired, and that her children’s whining and crying aren’t always genuine but may instead be an act. She says, “It’s as if they play the dramatic role for me, but they can just as quickly shift out of it.” She’s…

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