One of the most common parenting issues is the inability to get their children to listen to them without having to repeat the request several times or yelling at them. Fortunately, experts do have some advice for parents that will help them to change how they react to and manage their child’s behavior.

As the person in charge of child care, you are the one that sends the signals to a child, so if you are more consistent in the signals that you give, then the more consistent and predictable the child’s behavior will become. In order to practice good parenting, your consistency should follow along the same lines of a traffic signal; when it is green then kids can enjoy themselves, etc. When you make a request of them the light turns to yellow and finally if they do not comply with your request the light changes to red. At that point you need to warn them that if they do not do as you asked there will be consequences, thereby enforcing the fact that if they do not comply there will be a negative outcome. Of course when they do as you asked, you need to follow up with a positive end result.

When you make a request of your child and it happens to interrupt the good time they are having, the results can range from complaining to a full blown temper tantrum. The expert’s advice for parents tells us that consistency is needed, even during these times. Once a child sees that this type of behavior will get them what they want, they will continue to use it until such time that it no longer works.

When a traffic light is working properly then everything usually runs pretty smoothly and predictably. If a child sees theirs as being consistent and predictable, then they know that starting with green as a go, yellow as a request or instruction and red as a consequence is the natural order of things. When your parenting skills stay consistent, the child has the option of going or stopping and they will know that their choice will lead to a predictable and consistent end. However, if you use the yellow part of the signal to just give warning after warning and the light never turns red, then the child has no reason to stop the unwanted behavior. This type of inconsistency encourages the child to just ignore you or even become more defiant.

There are some whose parenting style goes immediately from green to red, which may make the unwanted behavior stop, but it is usually only a temporary result, as the child is normally only complying out of fear. Some advice for parents includes realizing that when you stay consistent by giving warnings, the child will know that they have the choice of complying or not, and realizing that whatever they choose will bring consequences, either negative or positive.


This is a Parents / Parenting Article provided by Ezine Articles

Source by Mike Ramidden

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