Tweens

Why You Should Change The Way You Think, To Change the Way Your Child Behaves! – Parents Article

Expectations are the Enemy of Parents. I would say over 90% of the parenting dilemmas posed to me daily have one very simple answer; “you’re expecting too much of them”. Our expectations of child behaviour are totally warped in society today. We just expect too much of kids (and no age or behaviour is immune). We expect them to sleep like adults. We expect them to control their impulses like adults, regulate their emotions like adults, manage their time like…

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Talking to Children About ‘Stranger Danger’ – Parents Article

I’m often asked my opinion of talking to children about interactions with strangers and how I would best approach the topic. It may surprise you that I am really not a fan of the idea. Why? * Most child abductions and abuse occur from somebody known to the child (family members, family friends or professionals known to the child). Warning children about ‘Stranger Danger’ somehow implies that they can implicitly trust all those close to them, when actually these people…

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Setting Limits on Junk Food for Children – Is it Possible When You’re Aiming for Self-Regulation? – Parents Article

I’m often contacted by people who, having read my Gentle Eating Book, ask me if I really set absolutely no limits on the junk food my children eat. I think they presume that they eat only sweets/candy and chocolate all day long and that my house is reminiscent of some sort of Willy Wonka’esque never ending sugar factory. To answer this, I need to do a quick recap of the main ideas in my Gentle Eating Book. I’m not adding…

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How to be a Gentle – Not Permissive – Parent – Parents Article

I was chatting with a journalist recently who was writing an article about forcing children to say sorry (based upon a piece I wrote for the HuffPost a while ago). In the piece I talk about the importance of parenting mindfully, leading by example and teaching children well – but not enforcing discipline because of societal rules, if those rules don’t fit with what we know to be a good fit for the capabilities of children. She asked me what I would do…

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The Two Most Important Steps to Coping with any Behaviour – and why so Many get it Wrong! – Parents Article

I often speak with parents who are struggling with a specific behaviour, such as hitting. They will say “I keep telling them to stop and explain why they shouldn’t do it – but it just keeps happening!”. The problem here is not necessarily what the parent has done, but what they *haven’t* done. Dealing with tricky behaviour is a two step process. If you skip one of these processes, it’s almost inevitable that your discipline will be ineffective. What are…

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Talking to Children about Death – Parents Article

Children often become interested in, and preoccupied with, death around the ages of three to five years and parents can really struggle with explaining it to them – the natural instinct is to down play it, so as not to scare them. I am firmly of the belief that we should expose children to death (ie they should attend funerals) and discuss it in a factual, honest way with them. In other cultures death (and birth) are a normal part…

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5 Ways to Encourage a Positive Sibling Relationship – Parents Article

The following is an excerpt from my ‘The Second Baby Book’: The following tips can all help to forge closer, more positive sibling relationships: 1. Don’t Compare ThemComparing children is possibly the most destructive mistake that parents of two or more children can make. If you have a sibling, how many times did you hear “why can’t you be good, like your sister?” or “your brother is so much easier than you!”? How did it make you feel when your parents compared you…

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Is Screen Time Ever OK for Children? – Parents Article

Recently a new study was released, looking into the impact of screen time on toddlers and preschoolers. Predictably; the mainstream media picked up on the research and were all reporting the perils of screen time and how it should be avoided as much as possible for young children. The trouble is, these dire warnings were not supported by the actual findings of the study. The research looked a good sized sample, just under 2500 children, from Canada. It charted their screen time…

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I want a boyfriend but I’m not good at flirting! – Parents Article

I wish I had a boyfriend… I just got an email from a girl who’s never had a boyfriend and she really wants one. We’ve all been there, right? Everyone deserves to be loved. Being loved by someone you love is an amazing feeling that nurtures your spirit and opens your heart and mind to the beauty of life. If you aren’t in a relationship and you want to be, you may feel frustrated and/or impatient. But you know what…

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5 Ways to Handle Tween Attitudes – Single Dad, Parents Article

“It’s Inevitable, Mr. Anderson” What Agent Smith was really trying to tell Neo in The Matrix, is that as your child creeps up to being a teenager, that teenage attitude comes well before the age. Some days, my ten-year-old is going on sixteen. For my twelve-year-old, the attitude isn’t as frequent and is usually limited to short responses to the conversation at hand. The season of tween attitudes is here! My ten-year-old, on the other hand, goes from zero to…

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