adopting older children

Second Chances | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care – Foster Parents Article

Paper stars flutter to and fro in time to the rhythm of the air conditioning. A wall of black plastic sits beneath reams of masking tape and fluorescent post-it notes. It’s masquerading as the New York City skyline. This is Pinterest’s creation come to life. This is the middle school’s eight grade dance. I set it up and now I wait for the children to arrive. I chaperoned this event for Sean when he was in eighth grade. At the…

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Proven Wrong | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care – Foster Parents Article

I need to spend more time counting my blessings. Yesterday morning I was filled with dread over the impending Mother’s Day drama. I was expecting the pattern of trauma and dysregulation from the last few years to continue. I have never been happier to say I WAS WRONG!!! Mary got up with me in the morning to go to church with my parents. It was a nice service and I actually found myself relaxed and happy. Mary wasn’t irritable or…

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That Day | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care – Foster Parents Article

That day is here again. The one I dread with a visceral gut twist every single year. It’s Mother’s Day. Here is the day where I leave the house and people congratulate me over and over again for being a mother. People ask my kids if they are celebrating me or doing something “nice” for me. Well, first people look at Carl and Marcus with puzzlement before checking that I am, in fact, their mother. All it does is remind…

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The Prodigal Returns (Again) – Foster Parents Article

Marcus is home. We finally convinced him to come home, at least for a little while. He’s here so that we can take him to get a new driver’s license at the DMV. He can’t get a job without it. He’s also here because he needed me to help him write his appeal letter to Job Corps. As much as he wanted to leave there previously, he now wants to stay. He’s depressed and mad at himself for the way…

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The Lion’s Den | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care – Foster Parents Article

The sound of her voice sets my teeth on edge. The children’s older biological sister, M, is difficult for me to stomach. I am caught between my instinct to get her away from my children and the idea that I should try to maintain their original sibling bonds. It’s hard for me to do. Contact with her is something the children are entitled to. She isn’t a danger to them. She’s just…herself. I know that if I keep them from…

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